I Wonder Where Wonder Went

Questions

This started with one question--“What does it mean to really live?” That question led to the decision to begin this process. This process led to some valuable ideas; they may not be answers, but they are ideas that certainly serve the process.

“Just being here is a cause for celebration.”

“Follow your bliss.”

“...meaning is something you create…”

“Become what you mean.”

“What a bunch of woo-woo-hippie-bullshit.”

I understand the temptation to assign a cynical motivation to this project. There are so many people peddling “woo-woo-hippie-bullshit” that it’s enough to make one cynical; take it from a recovering cynic. Hypocrisy and cynicism are so common that many of us have conditioned ourselves to be hyper-vigilant with regard to both; so much so that we jump to conclusions on the basis of clickbait headlines without asking any questions. Let’s briefly pause here to ask a question. Is it good to jump to conclusions based on the information conveyed in 140 characters or less without asking any questions? Things may be that cut & dry some small fraction of the time, but I find that the overwhelming majority of issues are nuanced; and therefore require consideration and questioning. There’s nothing wrong with asking questions. For example: “is this woo-woo-hippie-bullshit?” is very different from “this is woo-woo-hippie-bullshit.” Likewise for the difference between “is there a cynical motivation at the heart of this thing?” and “there is a cynical motivation at the heart of this thing.”

Is there a cynical motivation at the heart of this thing? No. We, that is Greg, Rich, and I, each have our own motivations. Among my motivations is a sense of gratitude to my community/tribe. I, like so many, have felt like a black sheep most of my life. That can lead to feelings of rejection and despair for primates who were born with an inherent need for community. The age of digital media has given birth to the virtual community; this has given those with access to the internet a global reach for community building. There was a time when, if you were the black sheep in a small town, you had to move to a big city to have the possibility of meeting more people you could relate to. Now we can just go online.

The digital age has brought forth the democratization of content distribution. This ease of distribution to like-minded audiences has empowered writers, thinkers, artists, and podcasters to honestly express their personal struggles with feelings of rejection and despair… and their personal triumphs over the same. Their honesty, vulnerability, and humanity have consequently empowered us; because these artists--these fellow black sheep--let us know we’re not alone.

I think of empowerment as “inspiring within someone the freedom to be who they really want to be.” The empowerment I’ve received from my community has literally changed my life. Sincere gratitude for that empowerment motivates me to contribute back to the community. Gratitude and reciprocity are a couple of my "reasons why"—the motivations that fuel this project.

As previously stated in my last post, I am also motivated by the question. “What does it mean to really live?” I’ve encountered many people attempting to behave as though they know the answer. Upon closer observation, some of those same people seem to actually be living the proverbial "lives of quiet desperation;" so the question stands. The answer may be unique and knowable only to each, specific individual. The answer may be universal and astonishingly simple. The answer may be unknowable. Whatever the case may be, we choose to keep asking. We choose to seek, or rather to create (as Neil DeGrasse Tyson advises), our own answers and meaning.

Choices

Aubrey Marcus says that choice is our greatest superpower (https://medium.com/@AubreyMarcus/choice-our-greatest-superpower-a9e58a5ab292 ) David Foster Wallace said that how we construct meaning is a matter of personal, intentional choice. Wallace also said:

“... if I don’t make a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to, I’m going to be pissed and miserable… The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.

That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.

None of this stuff is really about morality or religion or dogma or big fancy questions of life after death. The capital-T Truth is about life before death. It is about the real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over…”

In that commencement speech, Wallace gives us two vital choices to make. How do we choose to think? What do we choose to pay attention to? These questions bring to mind the days when I feel like Ricky Fitts in “American Beauty.” “There’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it; and my heart is just going to cave in.”

Then I open social media apps, and I feel like Bizarro Ricky Fitts. There’s so much horror in the world I feel like I can’t take it; and my heart is just going to cave in. The cynicism starts creeping in. I need to remind myself that who we are is not a reflection of the world around us; the world around us is a reflection of who we are. We can change it anytime. The first thing we need to change is our minds.

I see the horror; and I see the beauty. I’m sure you do too. Plenty of people are about the business of showing us the horror. What about the art of putting the beauty on display--the people and places that remind us of the sense of wonder we used to feel every day during childhood? Remember that sense of wonder? When did we forget it? Was it a choice that each of us made? Maybe it was, maybe not. Maybe forgetting it is something “so easy and automatic it doesn’t have to be a choice.” Maybe this is what Wallace meant when he said “the alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.” What happens when we make the choice to remember that infinite thing; that sense of wonder? What happens when we choose to think about life with that sense of wonder? What happens when we choose to pay attention to all of the reasons we have to celebrate just being here?

Don’t forget to remember.

The next thing that happens is that we get distracted by life, and we forget about the choices we made. David Foster Wallace nailed it; we do have to keep reminding ourselves.

“Just being here is a cause for celebration.”

“Follow your bliss.”

“...meaning is something you create…”

“Become what you mean.”

These ideas aren’t about morality or religion or dogma or big fancy questions of life after death. They’re about life before death. They are reminders; and we need to remember.

“It’s just a ride.”

There’s one more reminder that fits perfectly into place to complete the sense of empowerment. It’s Bill Hicks philosophy of life that “it's just a ride.”

“The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, and around and round, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, ‘Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?’ And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, ‘Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride’... And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money - a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defense each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.”

Hicks proposes what we can do to make it a better ride, and starts with that macro. These macro ideas are noble aspirations. They are also potential sources of anxiety; because most of them are outside of the direct influence of any one person. What if we start with the micro; that which one can directly influence? "What are the things I can do to make life a better ride for myself and for others?" There is empowerment; within the scope of my own actions. How can I choose love over fear, and manifest that choice in my life?

I Wonder Where Wonder Went

Questions

Choices

Don’t forget to remember.

“It’s just a ride.”

More Questions